I feel very weird.

That’s the only way I can describe how I’ve been feeling for the past few months. Irritable, unsatisfied, bored, anxious, and weird.

I 100% know where the feelings are surfacing from. Between a lack of sleep, a new job, being away from my family, and struggling with my identity, feeling weird is the only way I can describe the conglomerate of emotions I’m experiencing.

I know I’m being dramatic and people go through things a lot worse, but I can’t help but feel weird about this stage of life I’m in.

I moved to a new city with a shiny new job and expected everything to fall into place. I expected to automatically become happy, wealthy, and emotionally stable (lol), but now that I’m having a hard time, the first thing I want to do is run.

Trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve already chatted with my boss about leaving and talked with my parents about coming home, but all of my outs have been denied and I know why.

God’s just not done with His plan for me in Richmond.

I’m still learning to be okay with that. To just trust His plan for me. But with everything I’ve been through, I’m just tired.

Tired of being let down, tired of feeling lonely, tired of being tired.

I’m not sure how long this rut I’m in will last, but I’m working on it. And today’s the first step.

I want to get back into the groove of things, so I’m starting with this blog post and filming a YouTube video as we speak. I hope to rediscover all of the things I’ve been passionate about and let go to waste because of the “weirdness” I’ve been feeling. I hope to continue on this trek to find my identity and inspire others in the process.

And I hope by posting this, I can hold myself accountable.

See you soon!